Spring 2020

 

Good-bye.

Au revoir.

Adios.

Arrivederci.

Get the hell out!

 2020-It was a year.

 It is a chapter in life’s book to close hard and fast.

For many of us it was filled with loss and struggle that we had never imagined having to navigate. For all of us it was filled with unwelcome change and challenge. We have all turned page 365 with great anticipation, only to acknowledge that the flip of the calendar, the change of the number, the click of the second hand that launches us into a ‘new’ year does not make this day any different from yesterday. We are still amid a global pandemic that is gaining momentum. We are still masked. We are still distanced. The only thing that is new is the name 2021 and the possibility that good change is around the corner.

For me, the year started with a sense of surreal as if I were watching a movie and allowing myself to be taken in; a dystopia with apocalyptic undertones. I counterbalanced the storm that was coming onshore the way I brace for a hurricane or a nor easter; I found calm and control in preparation. In the shutdown I found solace in the fact that we were all on the same team and in the same corner. And as we learned how to adjust and adapt, I found work coming my way at breakneck speed. I immersed myself into being productive, adopting a rhythm and a pace that did not make room for thoughts. And now, I am tired.

Most of us are Covid-fatigued. We have lost holidays, family gatherings, jobs and loved ones. In many ways, we have lost time. We lost a year’s worth of living the way we know how to and we have morphed through stages of disbelief, fear, adjustment, acceptance and finally we have dragged ourselves to the end of the year feeling worn to the bone. We have communed through Zoom meetings and classrooms and commiserated through memes, jokes, and slogans that allow us to put this all in a pocket of time; one to be endured and then zipped shut. We have run a marathon and are ready to relax as we cross the finish.

Most of us would like to keep running a bit longer to put that finish line a comfortable distance behind us and not ever look back, but before we move forward and try to move past some of the pain, I think it is worth the time to dog-ear some of the pages of this 2020 chapter. A wise woman once told me that if you envision each adversity on the face of a coin and then flip it over, on the other side lies wisdom. I believe this is true. There are many coins to flip and so much to learn from what lies beneath. Sometimes, we gain the most when we lose everything. I have been awe-struck by families that have lost homes to fire or tornados; an unthinkable tragedy where everything is destroyed. These people seem to have the most insight into what matters. When everyone gets out unharmed, they find gratitude. When sifting through the debris they find tokens of life before the tragedy, they are grateful.

Each of us needs to sit in front of our 2020 debris and sift it, allowing the unimportant things to fall through. There are treasures amidst the rubble and wisdom under the adversity if we choose to do the work required to see it.

The only thing within my control are my own thoughts and that is where I begin. That is where the power is. Before me lies my pile of 2020 debris that I need to sift in order to find the treasures, to turn each adversity over for thorough examination to locate the wisdom under it all.

 This might take a while and that’s OK.

 One flip at a time.

 The clear vision that will come may be gradual. Hindsight afterall…